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| I am free at last!
I broke up with Aaron about a week and a half ago and I have never felt happier! I didn't realize it until the day I broke up with him that his jealousy and accusations were really abuse. I have been reading books about such things and Aaron has all the traits of an emotional abuser. I was so in love with him that my mind didn't really notice that I wasn't happy...When he went to KY I missed him like crazy and when he came back..it all started over! That was the point that I realized he and I should not be together...but my heart still wanted to be with him and my heart longs for him still. My mind is stronger though. My mind knows that I will not last long as a person if I allow myself to be treated that way. I wasn't myself when I was with him. I wasn't wild and fun loving and all that stuff my friends know me for. I was boring and lazy.
Since we have broken up I have totally changed, I am still somewhat boring and lazy but I have done things! I walked my dad's dog, I have done things with my mother, I fell happy and at ease...all this time Aaron has been trying to ruin my life. Even since we broke up he has hacked into my computer and gotten passwords that I changed 2 days before he got them...How sick and twisted can one person be?
I thought he was the love of my life...and he may very well be the human love of my life, but right now God is the real love of my life and of course my kittie kats, Montel and Ruckel, are also my loves (like children). I am even starting to love myself again. That is something I haven't done in a long time because I wasn't strong enough. Now I am, thanks to Aaron. I have the strength to say what I think, the knowledge to see through peoples stinkin stupidity, and the wisdom to know that I am better than that and I don't have to live a life of mediocracy.
Even if I never have another human being to love like I loved Aaron, my life will be great! My survival and who I am as a person do not depend on what other people think or what person I have in my life. I am self sufficient and I don't need anyone but God to tell me who I am!
Thank You!
Lyss | | |
| Dude! I miss Aaron! I went to KY to visit some friends and I didn't get to go. It is totally killing me!
The other day at church I was talking to one of the ladies and almost told her about my past of lying to people that I loved and see if she had any advice but then her kids started yelling and messed that chance up.
I need advice.
It is killing me inside to know that I hurt people and I will never know if they can forgive me or if they are ok. I still read their xanga's every once in a while to see how life is going and so I can pray for them...Is that horrible? I commented on their accounts asking them to IM me or call my cell today and I hope that goes good. There is only one I haven't commented on asking to IM or call and that is because his mother has forbidden me to speak to him and I want to respect her in that.
If you have any advice for me...please let me know.
Thank you!
Lyss | | |
| I am getting married! OMGOSH! I will get pics of the ring and all that nice stuff and post. If anyone still reads this please say SOMETHING!
Love Ya!
Lyss
GOD IS SO AMAZING!
How could a girl like me end up with a guy like Aaron? It is truely a miracle!
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| A few days ago we gave my Gram a shirt that says "what did I come into this room for?" and she was gonna wear it the next day but forgot so when she finally wore it we said something and she said:
"I forgot my forgetfulness shirt"
We all cracked up! | | |
| So...I didn't give details during my previous post but I will now. Aaron and I were walking Dax (Aaron's puppy I bought him) and we heard someone screaming HELP HELP HELP. It kept getting further away and it made me get goose bumps. Someone was in serious trouble. So Aaron (being the brave man he is) went towards the screaming to see if he could help anyone. He didn't come back for at least 10 minutes so I went up on this lady's porch and asked if I could sit there and if in 2 minutes she would call 911. She called right away and they came (took them way to long to get there...like 20 minutes?) and when they did I told them what happened and they went to look for Aaron...they came back after a while and acted as though they didn't believe us and like we were crazy. (We might be...but I know both of us wouldn't have heard the same thing, even if we ARE crazy) so they leave and prolly didn't even check the area. It just makes me feel SO SO safe knowing our local police don't give a crap and don't believe people. I am sure some of you have heard that Chattanooga's emergency system isn't that great anyways. This one lady's house caught on fire and she tried calling 911 and couldn't get through. FINALLY her son ran down to the fire department and by that time it was too late...the house was gone. This is an example of why I feel so safe in Chattanooga.
**rolls eyes**
Also as many of you may or may not know I turned 19 yesterday. Yay for me. Anywho...my birthday was not good at all. It couldn't be helped and I don't wanna talk about it but...It sucked and I hated it and I hope I never have to endure such a dreadful day ever again.
On a lighter note. I love Aaron.
Love you all so much in Christ,
Lyss | | |
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